Wednesday, July 23
Monday, July 21
Boys Day
With mom at work, Noah wakes up in the morning with a new and different purpose. His aim is legible in his face as soon as he sees me standing over the crib edge: Today I am going to baffle daddy with my behavior, then flummox him, and just when he thinks he’s got house husbandry figured out, Bewilderment Junction here we come.
Yesterday was Gandhi Appreciation Day. After a 4:45am suckling session, Mr. Feed-Me-Every-Four-Hours rejected his father’s gently proffered bottle at 8:30, 9 o’clock, and again at 9:30. Plenty of grumping, mind you. Just no eating. After a 95-degree walk to the Italian market, milk at the ready, the protest fast was on. Hour five and hour six: advantage Noah. Hour seven: the disappointing discovery that dad is going to win. The opening frame of hour eight: I’ll suck the damn nipple, but only to punctuate the grunts between every sip, you patriarchal oppressor.
Today is Nap Resistance Day. It makes Gandhi Appreciation Day seem like I’m Actually Having Mercy On You Day. It is a cunning stratagem the junior member has put in play: Watch how sweet I’m being, dad! Aren’t I a pure delight? Look at these happy smiles—I’m even submitting to portraiture! Now check this out ... eyelids drooping, peaceful crib entry, a nice little stretch to send you back downstairs ... wait for it, wait for it ... WAAAAHHHHH!
Yesterday was Gandhi Appreciation Day. After a 4:45am suckling session, Mr. Feed-Me-Every-Four-Hours rejected his father’s gently proffered bottle at 8:30, 9 o’clock, and again at 9:30. Plenty of grumping, mind you. Just no eating. After a 95-degree walk to the Italian market, milk at the ready, the protest fast was on. Hour five and hour six: advantage Noah. Hour seven: the disappointing discovery that dad is going to win. The opening frame of hour eight: I’ll suck the damn nipple, but only to punctuate the grunts between every sip, you patriarchal oppressor.
Today is Nap Resistance Day. It makes Gandhi Appreciation Day seem like I’m Actually Having Mercy On You Day. It is a cunning stratagem the junior member has put in play: Watch how sweet I’m being, dad! Aren’t I a pure delight? Look at these happy smiles—I’m even submitting to portraiture! Now check this out ... eyelids drooping, peaceful crib entry, a nice little stretch to send you back downstairs ... wait for it, wait for it ... WAAAAHHHHH!
Friday, July 11
I Love Papa
Especially when he tries to eat my feet.
And so Noah joins the zeitgeist, which outran and in fact lapped his father many years ago. A search for "laughing baby" turns up 13,700 videos on YouTube, nearly ten times as many as "laughing cat." The comments attached to some of these videos are harsher than Sean Hannity tearing into a unionized member of the ACLU clad entirely in pink triangles. Especially the comments attached to videos brought up by a search for "laughing evil baby" (301) and "laughing devil baby" (70). Apparently there are people surfing the internet just waiting for an opportunity to render a verdict of "retarded" on the first three-month-old that doesn't please them.
So a warning. If Noah regards infant cannibalism as pure hilarity, just imagine what he'll do to you if you call him names.
And so Noah joins the zeitgeist, which outran and in fact lapped his father many years ago. A search for "laughing baby" turns up 13,700 videos on YouTube, nearly ten times as many as "laughing cat." The comments attached to some of these videos are harsher than Sean Hannity tearing into a unionized member of the ACLU clad entirely in pink triangles. Especially the comments attached to videos brought up by a search for "laughing evil baby" (301) and "laughing devil baby" (70). Apparently there are people surfing the internet just waiting for an opportunity to render a verdict of "retarded" on the first three-month-old that doesn't please them.
So a warning. If Noah regards infant cannibalism as pure hilarity, just imagine what he'll do to you if you call him names.
Wednesday, July 9
Beach Movies!
Noah, the baby for all seasons (two so far, I guess), braved the wind and waves for the first time at the beach on Fripp Island last week. He had a great time, and especially enjoyed meeting Meredith, Josh, Soren, Blake and Clelia. He flirted with some ladies other than his mama, had long sleepy beach walks with his daddy, and got the seal of approval from Soren, nearly 3, who declared "Baby Noah" a friend "because I love him." Here is some footage of the action and of Noah's spectacular baby Buddha belly!
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